WALKING - It's good for you. Helps you to lose weight. I haven't seen that part yet, but it probably is keeping me from gaining weight. It's also good for your dogs (if you have any). It's sad, however, to walk by other dogs, chained up in their yards, wrapped round and round, so that they don't have more than a couple of feet to move in, on a freezing day. I hope God has something special in store for irresponsible pet owners.

RETIREMENT - One year ago today I said "so long" to the man. Actually, I'm still working for the man part time, but things are so different now. I can charge a consultant fee, work my own hours and get paid mileage. But the greatest benefit is that there is absolutely NO STRESS. Lois's retirement check is coming regularly now, and I can walk away from the part time job at the first sign of stress. Sweet!

JAIL BUDDY GONE - No more trips to the county jail. My felonious friend has been transferred to the other end of the state. The location is too far for me to negotiate a visit, so I will try to be more diligent in writing. Regardless of the crime, he's still a human being and God's child. And this next part of his journey has to be both intimidating and depressing. I realize that, given his medical condition, I will never see him again in this life.

VETERAN BENEFITS - I have finally been approved to become a patient at the local veteran's center medical complex. Boy, do I have a shopping list for them! On the other hand, I'm not looking forward to the battery of medical tests that they may want to perform. I've come to realize that not knowing what might be wrong with you isn't so bad. When the doc listens to your heart, then goes "H-m-m," you begin to plan your funeral. Been there, done that. Maybe I should just lie low.

BIBLE STUDY - Two things that I've learned about the Methodists: they love announcements; and they're not big on discussion. While we absolutely adore our lady pastor, the Wednesday night "studies" are 80% fluff and 20% stuff, with 0% serious interaction. And this is with a small group --- eight people total. We have prayer requests, combined with praise items (called joys), then announcements, then the actual prayer, followed by reciting the Lord's Prayer. In the time remaining she reads from a book about the Bible passage; we rarely open our Bibles. Most of the others don't even bring Bibles! The same thing happens in Sunday school (different teacher). Even when you answer a question with a comment that might prompt further discussion, you get "Uh-huh. Thank You," then on we go to the next paragraph. Makes me miss some of the fundamentalist Bible studies. But if I had shared then what I know now, they would have invited me to leave.

We took the dogs to the vet today. They are so different from each other. Jasper started shaking as soon as he saw the building. Jada immediately made friends with all the dogs and cat, as well as their owners. And she couldn't wait for her turn to see the doc. Even after he gave her two shots, she was still okay with him. We took Jasper for Dr. P to look at his joint problem. He recommended an anti-inflammatory, starting with a shot, followed by pills.

Dogs are great companions, so much better than cats. Someone once said, "Dogs have owners, cats have staff." So true. Dogs are sensitive to your moods and always ready to please. However, I do believe that Jasper needs some anger management. He doesn't play well with others.

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Boy, you sure can accumulate a lot of paperwork over a short period of time. I thought that I was all set to do my 2010 taxes, but I couldn't find the previous year's return and the online ID/password. I also wanted to see if the VA would accept me as a patient this year, but I couldn't find the criteria paperwork. Over the past several months I have been on a paperwork reduction campaign. I used to keep every receipt that was generated. Now I've streamlined my life --- sort of. I document transactions, reminders, retirement and VA analyses, etc. on the computer and saved the files to a flash drive, which I remove (safely) each night when I shut the thing down. All receipts, after they have been recorded, are pitched. Any receipts, pay stubs, or paperwork (old) that had account numbers or personal info gets burned. But it seems that every time I peek in a closet, more paperwork!

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We just received a flower arrangement from our neighbors, along with a condolence card. Earlier today Lois received a phone call from her best friend in high school, also a call of sympathy. It feels good to have people who care.

What to write about? I know this is supposed to be a daily journal, but some days are just not journal-worthy. Eat, go to work (part-time), eat, watch TV, write Framed By Faith, read, etc..

Speaking of reading, I just finished a good book. Not The Good Book. I read a little of that one almost every day. This book is called Honor In The Dust, by Gilbert Morris. I generally select new books from the library because they're not so nasty. I have read older books, particularly if I like the author's style, but, seriously, I have no clue what some people put in their mouths, because it is totally unrecognizable by the time they have dripped or smeared it on the pages they were reading. Yuck!

Back to Honor In The Dust. It was set in the 16th century, when William Tyndale was going underground in order to translate (and print) the Latin Bible into English. While this was going on, King Henry VIII was hanging and burning those who aided the translation, as well as those who smuggled or owned the newly-translated books. The reason, of course, was that the Church had proclaimed that only the priests could translate a verse or passage at a time, because only they were ordained by God to know what it said or meant.

This book tells the story of two brothers, set against each other by the greed of the elder brother, who wants to inherit the estate. The gospel of Christ is presented about 2/3 of the way through, and you see the determination of those who are willing to risk their lives in order to have a first-hand look at the Bible in their own language. The title was taken from Psalm 7:5 (KJV). It was a good read, and would make an equally good movie.

For any that are wondering, I haven't stopped praying. I am just experimenting on how to construct this journal, and I'm giving the prayer-at-the-end a break. Thank You, Lord, that I'm still praying in my head.

On the fourth Sunday of each month our pastor leads a combined Sunday school class. Yesterday morning she shared what the Methodists are all about, in the brief time that she had. She emphasized the openness of the Methodist church, which often draws criticism of the Methodists being middle of the road, or too liberal.

She also introduced the Wesleyan Quadrilateral. While John Wesley himself did not name it, or categorize it, the four squares contain references to sources (Scripture, Tradition, Reason and Experience) that he drew from for his teaching. I sent Rev. Barbara an email after church about how we liked the lesson. She wrote back that she was pleased and added that Wesley did not give all four sources equal weight; he put Scripture at the top, with the others working in relation to interpretation of Scripture.

I think the Bible is an amazing collection of writings, but I am not able to put it on a pedestal, as many Christian denominations do. I fully realize that all I know about God, Jesus, etc. comes from the Bible and that those who have taught me over the years also use the Good Book as their source. Still, I'm interested to see just how open this church is, and Barbara in particular. She focuses on the love of Christ, demonstrated in our service to others, and I like that.

Jill (my daughter) put a profile picture of me on my Facebook page, and it's already gotten a positive comment. It looks like a newborn shot of my 5th grandson. Fat grandpas make great baby beds. :)

*****

I learned an interesting thing on our walk yesterday. We have two dogs, Jasper and Jada [they gave me permission to use their names], mixed labs. We walk them using 16-ft extended leashes. I had noticed this before, but I paid more attention this time from the start. When they circle each other, they always circle counter-clockwise. In other words, whenever I had to untangle the leashes from crossovers, it always followed this pattern. They may begin a clockwise routine and reverse it, but they never completed a clockwise move. This pattern remained throughout the 2 mile walk. Interesting. I'll have to test this some more, but not call out each time they complete a circle (like I did yesterday), because it may annoy Lois. I'll get back to you. Like you care :)

*****

Lois and I had a stimulating 3-way phone conversation with Jill yesterday morning, regarding my recent article on an "alternative salvation plan." What made it interesting was that it wasn't a debate. A debate is a system in which one side attempts to win the argument. None of us were in it for that. We three have different takes on the Bible and Biblical doctrines (Lois and I are more in line with each other), and it was enjoyable discussing the reasoning that we each have on various spiritual matters. Of course, all of this is prompted by our (Lois and me) sudden exit from Christian fundamentalism and my pithy ramblings on framedbyfaith.com. I particularly like to have my thoughts challenged, and Jill makes a good sparring partner.

A large part of the discussion centered on the reliability of the Bible. How much of it is God-breathed? Is it dangerous to pick and choose some verses, yet hold out other verses for closer scrutiny? Can some verses be lost in translation, or were God's words interpreted incorrectly? How much can be taken literally, and what should be regarded as symbolic? Good stuff. It's in this interchange of ideas that I have come to realize that I was unable to discuss calmly spiritual matters when I was a Christian fundamentalist. I'm learning so much more now, and I am eager to continue in this fascinating dialogue.

Another thing I've learned over the years is that, in order to make the dialogue effective, both parties must keep their answers or comments short. I don't mean just one or two words, nor do I mean just one or two sentences. But some people (not you, Jill) can go on and on, re-stating the same position. That could be due to the fact that, while you were talking, they were forming a lengthy response in their mind, not really hearing what you said. Another is that they believe that an overwhelming response gives credibility to the perceived truth embedded in that response. Also with lengthy comments, the speaker will often hit several points that you need to respond to, but, by the time you get your turn, you've either forgotten some of them, or you wish that you had taken notes. I am willing to accept the fact that I have a simple mind, and I need to process things in small bites.

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Lord, thank You for days off, dogs and discussions. All things are beautiful when received in love.

Amen

ALTERNATIVE SALVATION PLAN DISCOVERED! "Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for." (Proverbs 16:6) This is so much better than having to kill an animal, or even the innocent Son of God. It's in the Bible, right? So, doesn't it have to be true? Am I picking and choosing which verses I like? Maybe. But, let me be clear. I am choosing based upon rational thought and understanding. I believe the Holy Spirit is leading me in that. Am I rejecting verses that don't make sense? No. I'm merely holding them up in question, in the hope that one day they will make sense. By not choosing the obscure verses, am I rejecting Christ? Absolutely not. I am open to His leading. I am not prepared to accept any teaching that doesn't make sense. Perhaps that is based upon my sinful condition, because of my lack of "faith," but I don't think so. Again, I have asked God to show me the way. I honestly don't think that I will get the vacation to Hell prize for wrong answers. Discipline? Yes. Hell? No, at least not the burning torture for ever and ever thing, with no hope.

*****

Here's a pet peeve. I like to read books from the new book section at the library, both fiction and non-fiction. I would say that only 10% of the books are free of grammatical errors. Don't they pay people to edit these things? If they can't get qualified staff, why don't they contract it out to someone --- like me? I could do what I love and get paid for it. I never cared much for English studies in school, but somehow it stuck with me. Maybe I'll contact some publishers and offer my services.

*****

I just heard a local talk radio host ask a listener, "If you meet someone who is not a Christian, don't you still consider them a brother or sister?" The man replied, "Not in a spiritual sense." Say what? Then how do you consider them? Were they created by God? Of course. Does He love them? He says so. Hate the sin, love the sinner, my fundy Christian friends would say. Love the sinner, but don't bring them close unless they undergo a spiritual change. Is that it? No can do. They will ALWAYS be my brother and sister.

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Lord, help me to understand the truth, even if it's not what I'm currently advocating. Above all, spur me on to love, no matter what the spiritual persuasion of my neighbor.

Amen

Back to the road trip. Lois, my daughter and I had a great discussion about relationships and commitment. J--l cited two occasions where we left church groups and appeared to never look back. She said that we were able to easily disengage ourselves from people that we had grown close to. I can't speak for Lois, but it has given me cause to examine myself.

There were actually three times when we left church groups that we were close to. That is, we up and left, without a mandatory reason, like a job move, etc.. All three are addressed in this blog/journal. But for the purpose of exploring J--l's assessment, I must revisit and rethink our leaving.

The first was Rev. R's church; he was the Dallas Seminary graduate. This was the second church that we attended after moving to Bristol. There were two conditions that made it difficult to continue there: 1) we were starting to get more Reformed theology teaching, which we disagreed with; 2) Lois was uncomfortable with one particular family, and neither of us can remember what the issue was with them. The pastor was kind-hearted, gentle and generous. I should have met with him to discuss the things that made us uncomfortable. I didn't want Lois to have to continue in a church where she didn't want to attend. But these people were our friends, as well as fellow believers, and I must confess a lack of maturity on my part in being open and honest with them.

We left Rev. N's church because of a disagreement that I had with him and the elders regarding church discipline on a personal level. Again, we could have stayed because of the people we cared about, and I could have removed myself from church politics. And again, Lois had been ready to leave long before the time we actually left. She was frustrated also with church politics, controlling leadership issues and seeing families leave because of the pastor. But it seems that our love and concern for the families there should have overridden our need to leave. We did maintain contact with the families that left when we left, but that only served to hurt the church more. Wisdom on my part was sorely called for.

The departure from house church was a lot more difficult to sort out. The greatest stress in the group was knowing that there were serious marital difficulties in two of the families, and it became very uncomfortable to meet each week and pretend that things were okay. We had just begun to open our eyes to doctrinal issues, but that was not what pulled us away, as far as I can tell. Like both Rev. R's and Rev. N's churches, I never went to any church leaders to seriously discuss why we were leaving. In this case I sent an email to the male leader of one family. I reported to him that we felt that the Lord was calling us away from the group, perhaps to teach us on a different level.

While I really believed in my heart that God had spoken to me, I will allow that my mind could have sought an easy way out. I wanted to keep the lines of communication open, but, by just leaving suddenly, we had hurt and frustrated those who were left. Two families had already left, and another was talking of leaving (aside to us). When we left, a single man and the family that had talked to us left also. Matters were made worse when we were asked by the people that left if we were going to continue house church. They wanted to come to our house. We said that we had no intention of starting another house church, but we said that they were welcome to have a meal with us on Sundays. Big mistake. Now, there's nothing wrong with having two house churches close together, but the timing was terrible. While we didn't have singing, prayer time, etc., we were most certainly gathering in the name of the Lord with those who had left the other families.

I was vehemently accused by a leader of the former house church (via emails) of plotting to form another house church all along. He went on to charge me with being controlling and manipulative over the years. None of this was true, and I responded that I was sorry that he felt that way. A phone call later with his wife confirmed that they both saw me as a liar, with the intention to hurt them. I know my heart, and I can assure anyone that I had no such plot or intentions. But the damage was done. Several attempts were made on our part to reconcile with them, but they have cut us off completely.

Again, I can't speak for Lois, but all three experiences have taught me that relationships are precious. And while spiritual differences are bound to come, some of which may cause some to not be comfortable meeting together, the more important position is honesty and love.

We have a new church now and are beginning to get to know the pastor and congregation. God is big on second chances. And third chances, or as many as it takes. I look forward to the day when old wounds will heal and love prevails.

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Lord, even though hindsight is supposed to be 20/20, why is it that, when we look forward again, the way can still be foggy? I want to love, and be loved. Give me the strength, honesty and courage to be open with people. And please give me the wisdom to know when to speak and what to say. There is a time for every purpose under Heaven. Show me the times.

Amen