Stetson Who?

The second phase of my undergraduate studies took place at Stetson University in Deland, Florida. Like Judson, Stetson also had a religious affiliation at the time I was there, that of the Southern Baptists. I found that odd because the school had a strong student body government that had petitioned to have cigarette vending machines installed on campus.

Also like Judson, I was admitted to Stetson on probation, having poor grades, with shaky credits that were being transferred from a non-accredited college. And for one more year I would not change my performance level --- I think it actually got worse. I lived on campus, but spent so much time at home, some 30 minutes away, I might as well had stayed there.

I proudly displayed my minister’s license in my dorm room, but was told by my hippie roommate that I had better not try to convert him. I didn’t. In fact, I can only recall one occasion, when I had taken him and his laundry to a local Laundromat, that we had any serious discussion about religion. He was pretty much turned off by the hypocrisy of the so-called Christians around him. I had been trained to respond that, regardless of how he felt about it, it still wouldn’t do him any good when he was standing in Hell. But, for some reason, my lips weren’t saying it. I think that even back then I was too embarrassed to witness because, deep inside, I couldn’t fully cope with my own beliefs.

A stronger force was at work within me, however, that of having to face an angry God for challenging the doctrines that he had set forth. So I continued to trust --- in the teachings of men.

My love life was taking a new direction. Being caught up in the Elvis subculture, I set forth to date a new girl every night, if possible. I would again make my selection from the beauties at the Youth For Christ (now Campus Life) Saturday night programs. This didn’t last long because I was soon attracted to an Italian girl, who would later become my wife.

Now being absorbed into my new romance --- sorry, Honey, not your fault --- my course achievements plummeted. In short, I flunked out of college. My counselor, who was also failing me, said that I would be suspended for at least one semester, while I attempt to settle down. He recommended that I either go into the military or get married. I did both.

My mother said that if I got married, I would never finish college. She was wrong. But first I had to get through nine months of work and four years of the United States Air Force.

Party, Study, Pity Party

I brought many of my bad habits from high school to college with me. I aced some classes, failed or nearly failed others. Not being a drinker, my version of partying was staying up all night, eating junk food, watching TV and pursuing romance.

I had a close relationship with a girl from high school, who was only 4 feet, ten inches tall (I’m 6-2). I have always remained faithful in each relationship --- all four of them. However, being away from my girl was always difficult. For whatever reason, when I came home for Christmas, we had a serious conversation about our future. I had maintained that the Lord wanted me in full time Christian service. (I realize now that he wants us all in full time Christian service, but that’s a different story.) She didn’t see that as a viable way to support a family. So it was over. And I don’t think her mother ever really liked me.

Back on campus I met another girl, Janet (not her real name), and I immediately was swept away. With the exception of some classes and sleeping, we spent every waking moment together. She introduced me to the concert choir and college gospel teams. Being able to sing fairly well (I think), I took to both quite well. Even as a newly titled Reverend, I hadn’t begun to speak much, other than the standard testimony.

Traveling around the area with the gospel team, and around the northeast with the choir was great fun, but it continued to erode my already-shaky study habits. I gradually polished my testimony and slowly became less the loner. All of the faculty liked me, and I was elected choir president for the following year.

Janet’s roommate, Mary (not her real name either), was engaged to another student, a senior, who had his own car. He headed up one of the gospel teams, and the four of us would often travel together. He was much more serious than his betrothed, but they seemed to be the right fit for each other. I wrote to her almost two years later to explain why I had left her best friend for another.

I returned to Judson for my second year as a seasoned student with my own car. My plan was to swing by East St. Louis and pick up Janet, then head on up to campus. To my surprise and disappointment, Janet informed me that she could not return that year due to lack of finances. We attempted to maintain the relationship throughout the year. I made several trips to southern Illinois, and she made a few trips to Judson.

Janet suffered from what she called brain aches. I never quite understood that, but I would learn over the course of time that this was only one of several peculiarities that I would discover in her. My mother didn’t much like the fact that she was two years older than me.

I will now write about how the relationship ended, but I must first introduce my second year roommate, Ron (another fake name). Ron was a preacher’s kid from Devil’s Lake, Wisconsin. He stood 6-4 (that's why I'm not using his real name) and had a steady girlfriend back home who was about the same height as my short high school girl. He had a pleasant personality, but he quickly became annoying because he was obsessed at bettering me in everything. His girlfriend was better. His part-time job was better. His home town was better.

The college had its annual spring formal banquet some time after Valentine‘s Day, and I had arranged to pick Janet up at the train station. I had bought a corsage and a large heart-shaped box of chocolates. I kept these in her ex-roommate’s (now married) apartment on campus.

I had been doing a number of speaking engagements, traveling with the gospel teams, and had just preached to a crowd nearby the night before the banquet. Afterward I went to Mary’s apartment, where I received a phone call from Janet. She said that she had an oppressive feeling and felt quite certain that the Lord didn’t want her to come up for the banquet. She also felt strongly that Satan was at work against her. I was crushed. The trusting part of me couldn’t blame her, because I believed that such forces were at work. But the romantic spirit in me wanted her to come anyway.

I gave her corsage to Mary, then walked dejectedly back to my dorm, carrying the box of chocolates, which, after I arrived, I tossed in the trash. Bad move. Ron saw my action, laughed at my sad news, then lunged for the candy in the trash. I didn’t realize that I could sink any lower, but I did.

I don’t think I saw Janet again until I left for the summer. My parents had decided that, since Judson was non-accredited (at that time), it would be best for me to transfer somewhere else. That somewhere was Stetson University in Deland, Florida, about 40 miles from my home in Orlando.

I suggested to Janet that we agree to date other people and see what the summer brings, but not officially break up. Looking back, it has occurred to me that neither of us ever sought the Lord’s will in our lives; we were totally focused on ourselves. And I was totally focused on her.

But God would continue to work in my life, whether I realized it or not. I would continue to make good choices and bad choices. And it would definitely be a life-changing summer.